Hoi An Ancient Town

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Behavioral culture in modern families in Hoi An

In recent decades, Vietnamese families in general, and in Quang Nam and Hoi An in particular, have undergone important changes, from traditional families to families with new, more modern and freer characteristics. The process of international integration, including cultural integration and exchange, has led to the emergence of more open views on marriage and family.
     However, it must be admitted that in addition to the positive changes in behavior in modern families, there are still many shortcomings in the behavior of many families in Hoi An, which significantly affects the tradition of "Gentle humanity" of Hoi An city.

     Under the impact of the market economy, family relationships in Hoi An are undergoing profound changes. Besides the dissolution of traditional family cultural values, the introduction of concepts and perceptions of family from outside, new values ​​and standards in family relationships have not been firmly formed, creating "value disturbances". Therefore, it is necessary to rely on the highest standards of humanity in orienting the development of family and family relationships, making the culture of behavior in the family forever a beauty, contributing to preserving the good traditional culture of the people of Hoi An, with their kindness and kindness, and colorful flowers and leaves.
 
Mr Luu Cuc's family photo - Photo: Hoi An Center for Cultural Heritage Management and Preservation
 
     Faced with many unfavorable changes in family behavior, in order to preserve and promote the beauty of family behavior, keep family life peaceful and happy, and limit negative changes; in 2020, the Department of Family - Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism issued a set of criteria for family behavior with important contents. This set of criteria is maintained by Hoi An city and applied to each specific case for each family, which are:

     Respect: Is to properly evaluate and value each other's honor, dignity and interests. When someone, whether an adult or a child, feels respected, they will feel happier, more sociable and share more. One of the causes of dissatisfaction and discord in some family relationships is the feeling of being looked down upon; We often subjectively assume that we are too familiar with the family members around us, considering it obvious and normal that we forget to show each other how we respect others.

     Not feeling respected is one of the main reasons leading to fading feelings, lack of connection between family members. Forgetting to show, showing in the wrong place, at the wrong time or not knowing how to show respect will gradually lose the initial good relationships of marriage, the relationship between parents and children, and between siblings. Respect is listening, giving sincere advice, educating, supporting the spirit when there are mistakes, shortcomings, but not hurting others.

     Equality: Having equal obligations and rights in all aspects of the family. Gender equality means that men and women have equal positions and roles, are given equal conditions and opportunities to develop their capacities for the development of the community and family, and enjoy the results of that development equally. The goal of gender equality is to eliminate gender discrimination, create equal opportunities for men and women in socio-economic development and human resource development, move towards real gender equality between men and women, and establish and strengthen cooperative and supportive relationships between men and women in all areas of social and family life.

     Gender equality in the family is between husband and wife, sons and daughters, male and female members in the family have equal positions and roles, the right to develop their abilities for the development of the family, the right to enjoy the development results of the family and society, the right to decide on their own issues and participate in family issues. On the basis of those rights, family members will participate in family and social work according to their abilities and interests, and choose how to enjoy the results according to each person's interests. However, equality does not mean equality, due to different biological characteristics and different roles, there will be substantive equality suitable for each individual in the family. Gender equality is the cultural foundation of humans, families and happiness. The role of women is promoted equally in society and in the family, which is of great significance for preserving and promoting the fine traditions of the Vietnamese family and the cultural traditions of the nation. Family culture is the foundation of social culture. Equality in the family is important in all eras, especially in the current period of industrialization and modernization. Equality in the family is a healthy environment for people, especially children, to be treated equally, to be educated about equal rights, to act equally; gender equality in the family is an important premise for success in caring for, nurturing, and educating children; gender equality in the family contributes to improving the quality of life of family members, building a civilized society; contributing to the country's economic growth and gender equality in the family contributes to the liberation of women, building a sustainable family.

     Love: Having deep affection, caring for each other.

     Family affection is a sacred affection, first of all it is the affection of family members for each other: maternal affection, paternal affection, brotherly affection. That affection is not only the affection between people of the same bloodline but people who are not related by blood can also feel it from their caring for each other, collaborating with each other at work.

     To express affection, each person has a different way of caring; some people care through words, others care through actions. Family affection can help people overcome all difficulties and challenges in life. It is a place that gives us comfort, faith, hope to overcome difficulties. As society develops, there are many relationships, but none is equal to family affection, it always occupies a high position in people's spiritual life. Each person must be aware of the important role of family affection in life to preserve, cherish, and respect. The simple act of caring for each other every day with the smallest things will make that feeling more beautiful, more meaningful and bring people closer together. Family is a place to love and be loved.

     Sharing: Together we cultivate feelings, share joys and sorrows, difficulties and hardships. Family members together shoulder the responsibilities of maintaining and developing the family; together we enjoy the fruits of the family's labor. Sharing is the result of love, respect and equality in the family. If there is no love, respect and equality in the family, there is no sharing.
In reality, we all have the need to share and be shared, it would be extremely boring and gloomy if there was no sharing among family members. Let's share responsibilities, share beliefs, share dreams, share knowledge... When we know how to share, "joy doubles and sadness is halved".

     Solidarity: Solidarity between family and clan members will create attachment, love and responsibility for each other; it is the principle of protecting the sustainability and development of the family. Those good values ​​are reflected in the relationship between family and clan members, in daily communication and activities and are passed down through folk songs and proverbs: "Sister falls, sister lifts". "Brothers are like arms and legs", when torn, we cover each other, when broken, we help each other". The strength of the family and community is solidarity. Nowadays, society is more developed and civilized, so there is a tendency to have fewer children. On the other hand, people are influenced by more factors and have less time for each other. Therefore, to develop a sustainable family, it is necessary to promote solidarity within the family, relatives and clan.

     It can be said that, in order to promote the good traditional values ​​in the behavioral culture of modern families in Hoi An, in addition to continuing to propagate and educate about the good traditions of the Vietnamese people, of Quang Nam, of Hoi An - a cultural heritage city; it is necessary to continue to promote the traditional values ​​of Vietnamese families in the spirit of the Resolution of the 13th National Party Congress. Continue the policy: "Protecting and promoting good, sustainable values ​​in Vietnamese cultural traditions" to contribute to building "a prosperous, happy, progressive and civilized Vietnamese family". Continue to effectively organize the implementation of the Strategy for developing Vietnamese families to 2020, vision 2030, "Criteria for family behavior";... "Continue to build a model family of "exemplary grandparents and parents, filial children and grandchildren, harmonious husband and wife, united and loving siblings".

     At the same time, “promote education to raise awareness, respect and compliance with the law, protect the environment, and preserve the national cultural identity of the Vietnamese people, especially the young generation. Step by step overcome the limitations of the Vietnamese people; build a new-age Vietnamese person, closely and harmoniously linking traditional values ​​and modern values”. In short, traditional family values ​​are the crystallization of family culture and national culture, governing the perception and behavior of each family member, laying the foundation for the development of the family in the present and the future. In modern society, traditional family values ​​need to continue to be nurtured and spread, as an endogenous factor creating a solid foundation for the process of building a modern family. However, some traditional values ​​have undergone certain changes, some values ​​have been and are being lost or transformed. Therefore, each family and the whole society need to fully and deeply perceive this issue, proactively promote good traditional values, contribute to building a prosperous, happy, progressive and civilized family, so that the family is truly a healthy cell, contributing worthily to the cause of building Hoi An into a City of ecology, culture, and tourism.
 

Author: Tống Quốc Hưng

Source: Hoi An Center for Cultural Heritage Management and Preservation

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